A few random ramblings…

Tonight saw the last episode of “The Sideshow”.

This represents the latest in a long line of dumb ass, short sighted, ridiculous, ‘heads entrenched in their own colons’ decisions from ABC executives.

Paul McDermott, of Doug Anthony All Stars and Good News Week fame, is without a doubt one of the most sardonic, caustic and witty comedians that Australia has produced and to see him relegated to ‘cancellation’ is a poor measure, to say the least.

So, why did the ABC cancel a show that was so entertaining to so many people?

The conspiracy theorist within says that it’s retaliation from the Howard-led Liberals getting their own back for McDermott’s merciless commentaries about them. The inner-cynic says that it’s because the ABC is managed by mindless bureaucrats that wouldn’t know funny if it jammed a whoopy cushion up their bulbous asses.

But sadly, I think it’s a combination of the almighty dollar and the skewed sampling that is the ratings mechanism of Australian TV.

According to this article from ‘The Age’ newspaper, it was a matter of ratings, which says to me that the show was not broadcast at the right timeslot for it’s intended audience.

I guess knowing that the axe is falling has let McDermott cut loose with some of his most cutting vitriol. Without threat of reprisal or sanction, he has loaded up and emptied both barrels on just about anything that has been news worthy in the past year. Of course, the easy targets like Britney Spears and the Liberal Party have copped the lions share of the venom, but nobody has been truly safe.

Interestingly enough, it’s not this part that I’ll miss most. Don’t misunderstand, I love hearing Paul McDermott’s sarcastic banter, and I will indeed be missing that in the months to come. But no, what I’ll miss is …. The Threatening Bears!

But seriously… ABC Television… WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU THINKING???!?!?!?

615,000 viewers FFS!!!

What? Not enough that you have to constantly recycle BBC shows and old political journo-hacks hosting a freaking BOOK CLUB to bore Australia into a collective coma? Thought that paint drying was too exciting and had to wait for it to crack and f**king flake off the wall for some real entertainment!

Tossers!

Australian television is already a barren wasteland of regurgitated plotlines and prepackaged American and British mass-produced crap that taking something as edgy as The Sideshow off is paramount to the media once more shi*ting in the cereal. Honestly, what would you find in Australian TV that doesn’t come out 12 months previously in the USA or Britain, that’s produced locally, that doesn’t centre around the criminal centre of Australia, a country hospital, a cul-de-sac in Melbourne or some remote bayside town?

At least Farscape showed that not all Australian-produced television needed to be lowest common denominator bilge, even though it was merely filmed here and owned by the Yanks. Still, a quality program that showed the local industry that we can match it with the big studios abroad.

Look at the programming in Australian television and you’ll find a nation that is run on crime drama (Honestly, how many CSI’s do we need???), hospital drama and soaps. Moreso, news and current affairs shows that sensationalise and exploit the genuine plights of everyday Australian’s continue to insult the viewing public.

And that’s before you even touch daytime or pay television. I mean, I thought the whole notion of pay TV was that the subscribers’ fees paid for it… and if that’s the case, then why the hell do we need ads? And this is without considering the equally insulting notion of ‘packages’ in your subscription. Want the Comedy Channel, you need to take all these other channels that you’d never watch. Like, seriously, who needs a f**king weather channel? You want to know what the weather is, GO STICK YOUR HEAD OUT A WINDOW AND TAKE A GOD DAMNED LOOK, you lazy f***!! Pay TV should be a-la-carte so that I don’t have to weather the indignity of catching some backwards ingrate spouting fire-and-brimstone fundamentalist pigswill at me on ‘The Christian Channel’ each time I flick back and forth.

By the time you’re done, you’re paying in the ballpark of AUD$100/month for approximately 50 channels if you take the lot, notwithstanding the likes of the ’specialist programming channels’ such as ‘The Adult Channel’ or ‘RAI’. That’s $2 a channel, and I guarantee that if people could pick and choose, even with prices as high as $4 a channel, more people would sign up in a heartbeat.

The Sideshow took the everyday mundane reality of life in Australia and did the thing that Australians do best with it… the took the piss! Everyone was fair game, nobody was safe and everyone got a laugh and at least one of those moments where you thought that Paul McDermott had maybe, just maybe, gone a little too far.

Until he cracked that cheeky grin… the one that says “Yes, I know I’ve crossed the good taste line… but I don’t care!”

Australian commercial TV stations are finally noticing the impact on ratings that the internet is having, with many people getting their hands on downloaded satellite streamed episodes of just about any series within hours of it’s broadcast. Some are released online even before they have aired. Seven and Ten have shown that they can improve ratings by giving the fans the shows they want at the same time they air in the US, instead of 6 months later.

Of course, this aspect is about commercialism, not quality. Perhaps the same thing will happen in television land that has been happening in the music industry… the slow, lingering death of the old-school mechanisms for production and distribution. Wishful thinking? Most likely, but many ideas that have since become commonplace in todays world began as ‘wishful thinking’.

I would hope that the ABC would release ‘The Sideshow’ on DVD, but sadly, due to it’s higly contextual nature (satirical commentaries about current news/political/entertainment issues), much like Good News Week before it, I seriously doubt we’ll see it’s release.

Besides, before it, D*A*A*S Kapital ruled the airwaves with far greater popularity… and we’re yet to see it on DVD (well, I can’t find it in any of the usual DVD sales haunts).

I will miss my weekly dose of Sandman, Flacco, The Kransky Sisters (who originate from the town of Esk, near where my folks now live) and the Umbilical Brothers.

But I will especially miss… The Threatening Bears…. grrrrr!