6 months later.
OK, so technically, it’s not quite six months since I wrote and posted something here… but calling this post “Almost six months later” just didn’t gel for me.
So, why the extended absence?
Essentially, we’re looking at a combination of factors. Work, limited hours in the day, various commitments… the list piles up. But a highlights package of the past six months includes:
- Coaching an Under 13 Girls School Futsal team to become National Champions
- Moving into a new apartment and living independently once more
- Changing locations for work
- Completing and passing the FIFA Futsal Referees fitness test in practice, but falling 10 seconds short of the 1km run when tested, but backing up after injuring myself in the sprints to complete the remainder of the test under the required times… all in 36deg heat.
- Captaining my Wednesday night futsal team to it’s 3rd grand final… again, being crowned Runners Up
- Injuring my knee so badly as to have to see an orthopaedic surgeon, but thankfully, not enough to need surgery (yet)
- Injuring my groin to currently have me out of action for the past 6 weeks, and most likely for another 6 weeks.
Like I said, the list builds up, as does the list of things that you’re foregoing in that time due to the commitments you have made.
But somewhere along the line, things started going very wrong at home. The domestic bliss that had been carved out, started to sour and for reasons I’m still trying to understand, much less accept and come to terms with. I had hinted to some of this in previous posts, trying to address the substance without getting into the specifics. As much as I may enjoy naming names and dishing the dirt, there are some times when it’s just not right and I’m not so much of an asshole that I can’t show a little respect and compassion when it comes to (potentially) slandering or vilifying someone that may not deserve it.
Don’t get me wrong. When the recipient is fully deserving, I’ll deliver both barrels right between the eyes… especially when it’s the truth.
But in this case, there was potential to resolve matters and the truth seemed entirely subjective… and trying to get to the objective heart of the matter proved incredibly difficult. Australian law, by and large, works on a pretense of having to prove events have happened… the presentation of factual evidence and the precident of existing case law. By and large, it’s a reasonably fair system.
Such a pity that relationships don’t have the same platform with which to resolve matters. And realistically, how could they when emotions are involved? It has become painfully obvious to me that no matter what the reasons are, no matter how little it has to do with a person, or the complete absence of evidence to support their position… some people will form an opinion and stick to it, more often than not, to their own detriment.
So with arguments following arguments in a wash-rinse-repeat cycle over several months, I finally came to a decision and moved out.
I could lay out all the arguments here, all the broken promises and scuttled plans, all the innuendo, mis-perceptions, barbs, jabs and revelations… but honestly, what would be the point? At the end of the day, I can only present my perspective… my position… and whilst I’ll try to be objective, the fact of the matter remains that there may well be pieces of information I’m simply not privy to… information that may very well change the tone and texture of it all.
But it also leaves me wondering : are some people so focussed on being angry, that they’ll ignore the truth when it’s presented to them?
Even now, with the last of the arguments done and dusted and the situation well and truly beyond the resolvable or rescuable… I’m left wondering if it’s better to be right and stand by your principals, or to take the rap for something you have been accused of, but not done, just to keep the peace?
A part of me says “Sure, let the little things go and stick by your principals on the big ones”…
How can a relationship have any value when one party won’t accept reality… or when one has to sacrifice integrity to accept responsibility for false accounts of events that have not happened?
How can you have ‘big’ principals when the little truths get sacrificed along the way for the sake of peace and expedience?
