Month: August 2007

Freak Magnets Anonymous…

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Ever hear the song “Laid” by James?

I feel this guys pain, I really do. Despite my best efforts to avoid it, until recently, I always managed to find myself in relationships with women with SERIOUS issues and more baggage than a Louis Vuitton warehouse. Read the rest of this entry »

Disclaimer (aka Don’t ask the question if you think you won’t like the answer)

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Quick double post happening today, since I’m in a bit of a mood.

This post I would like to dedicate to one of the great modern philosophers, the band Offspring, by quoting their Disclaimer track from “Ixnay on the Hombre”. Typically, I hate the cop out that is quoting entire song lyrics… there’s something a little disingenuous about it, but Dexter (with a little help from Jello Biafra) have summed it up so nicely.

Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to the disclaimer
That’s right, the disclaimer

This American apple pie institution
Known as parental discretion
Will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm
From the lyrics that might actually make you think
And will also insult your intelligence at the same time

So protect your family.
This album contains explicit depictions
Of things which are real.
These real things are commonly known as life.
So, if it sounds sarcastic, don’t take it seriously.
If it sounds dangerous,
Do not try this at home or at all.
And if it offends you, just don’t listen to it. 

It’s the lies that cause the cancer.

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I really hate being lied to.

I don’t just mean “oh shucks, I wish I’d known the truth… oh well”.

I mean… I REALLY despise being lied to. To put it into context, I’d sooner be the meat in a Klingon Warrior Lovefest Sandwich than be lied to. Read the rest of this entry »

Where did it all go wrong?

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Read the news lately? Seriously, it’s depressing.

I mean, depressing on a scale of a My Chemical Romance concert, with Emo’s wandering about looking for the nearest chemists for a bulk buy purchase of razor blades. Read the rest of this entry »

Understanding is a three edged sword…

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I had a birthday recently.

Yes, it’s true, I was born and not as some in this world would have you believe, spawned from one of hell’s more pestilent pits.

But birthdays are a funny thing in many ways, especially since this one, and some of the events surrounding it, forced me to look at a few things from a different angle… a new perspective… and admittedly, sometimes, a revelation of the reality of a situation and not just my perception of it. Read the rest of this entry »

The most expensive day of your life… (AKA: How I will always get into trouble at weddings)

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Went to the wedding of my partners cousin this weekend. A nice small (just under 100 people) Catholic mass with a mix of Australian and Italian families in attendance. The bride was radiant and beautiful, as one expects to see a bride on her wedding day. The groom arrived with his best man in a convertible Porsche Boxster… tres cool.

I even got pimped out for the occasion… new suit and shirt, polished shoes… a haircut even.

Maybe it’s my experience with weddings that makes me cynical over such events, but I’m reminded afterwards of the phrase “no man is an island”… and how one can be in a crowd and yet so completely alone. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s difficult giving up the things you love.

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Ok, this entry can be best described as a publice service announcement… for I am giving up coffee.

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