Month: August 2008
A series of events has transpired that leaves me questioning how I view the world and whether or not I see it for what it is… or if I view it through a set of rose coloured coke bottle lenses.
As the saying goes, “Pride goeth before a fall” and over the years I’ve always prided myself on being an objective person. However, objectivity doesn’t always serve ones best interests, especially in matters of the heart. It tends to leave you dispassionate and detached, and this is hardly conducive to an emotional involvement. In point of fact, the common tag that others label a person like that is ‘cold’.
Ironically, I’m objective enough to see how valid that point of view is, even though in my case I disagree with it.
Lately, I’ve been somewhat disconnected and detached from the world. The interesting thing about being in this situation is that it gives you clarity in observing the world around you… a real sense of KNOWING.
Unfortunately it has the side effect of requiring a lot of effort to feign the social niceties when you lack the will, desire or inclination to factor other peoples feelings into your words and actions. And it’s not so much a lack of empathy, you tend to recognize how others feel and stuff… you just lack the motivation and drive to care.
It is, in many ways, worse than truly having no empathy… because eventually your emotions catch up and hit you like a 2×4 to the back of the head.
And so here I find myself, looking at my life and trying to balance objectivity with emotion in a way that minimizes the collateral damage.
If only I could get to minimum safe distance.