Plans & Hopes

The Definition of Insanity (Pulling the Rug Part 2)

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Ever hear the saying "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"?

Well, it appears that I’m slowly going insane as I descend through the first of Dante’s Circles of Hell…


But like Dante, I feel as though I may have climbed my way through to find hope once more.

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Voices in the distance…

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It’s not that often that I am at a loss for words…. just read any of the posts on this blog and you’ll see… the written word and I are decent acquaintances.

But as the saying goes, we want quality, not quantity. Read the rest of this entry »

The Rising Phoenix (aka The reignition of purpose)

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There’s a saying my former boss used to love: failing to plan is planning to fail.

And in the case of the work we did, it fit perfectly, but it always reminded me of something that a coach I had as a kid used to say: if you aim for nothing, you will surely hit it.

Which is why, for the past two years, I’ve been training and pushing and aiming for a goal set originally by my ambitions, but one that has now become a requirement for the elite level refereeing I’m engaged in…

That goal is to pass the FIFA Futsal Referee Fitness Test… and on Sunday 10th January 2009, I officially achieved that goal. Read the rest of this entry »

Pumping Up The Volume

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In the early 1990’s a film was released to eventually gain a cult following, especially amongst detached, disaffected teenagers of the time.

That movie was ‘Pump Up The Volume, the story of a teenager trapped in the banality, mediocrity and monotony of life in suburban USA, rebelling against his parents, school and ‘the system’ . This was all done under the alias of ‘Happy Harry Hard-on’, a pirate DJ and, as we see throughout the course of the film, more the protagonists true persona than the meek, misunderstood teen we see in public.

The premise of the story was simple enough, but it’s timing unfortunate, catching the end of the ham-radio pirate DJ wave of uncensored free speech and shock jocks. It also arrived at the same time as the first common vestiges of the internet… now the vehicle for most amateur reporting, dissemination of (mis)information and ‘free speech’.

And now it’s Australia’s turn to fall under the boot of censorship.

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To whom the rules do not apply

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Even to the casual reader of this blog, it’s plainly apparent that relationships of various kinds are a topic that I spend a not-inconsiderable time thinking about.

In my more cynical moments, part of me wonders if men and women are really meant to last in any meaningful relationship. But then I look at a few examples, and realise there is hope on the horizon…

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6 months later.

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OK, so technically, it’s not quite six months since I wrote and posted something here… but calling this post “Almost six months later” just didn’t gel for me.

So, why the extended absence? Read the rest of this entry »

Reality… And the perception of truth.

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A series of events has transpired that leaves me questioning how I view the world and whether or not I see it for what it is… or if I view it through a set of rose coloured coke bottle lenses.

As the saying goes, “Pride goeth before a fall” and over the years I’ve always prided myself on being an objective person. However, objectivity doesn’t always serve ones best interests, especially in matters of the heart. It tends to leave you dispassionate and detached, and this is hardly conducive to an emotional involvement. In point of fact, the common tag that others label a person like that is ‘cold’.

Ironically, I’m objective enough to see how valid that point of view is, even though in my case I disagree with it.

Lately, I’ve been somewhat disconnected and detached from the world. The interesting thing about being in this situation is that it gives you clarity in observing the world around you… a real sense of KNOWING.

Unfortunately it has the side effect of requiring a lot of effort to feign the social niceties when you lack the will, desire or inclination to factor other peoples feelings into your words and actions. And it’s not so much a lack of empathy, you tend to recognize how others feel and stuff… you just lack the motivation and drive to care.

It is, in many ways, worse than truly having no empathy… because eventually your emotions catch up and hit you like a 2×4 to the back of the head.

And so here I find myself, looking at my life and trying to balance objectivity with emotion in a way that minimizes the collateral damage.

If only I could get to minimum safe distance.